His full name was Prince Blizzard Lapin Bin Bin, he was born May 25, 2012 in Essex, Vermont. He died March 10th, 2013 in Burlington, Vermont. He was my baby boy. He was going to play with my children when I had them and he was going to be the ring bearer at my wedding. I love him.
At around 1:30am, Sunday morning, I was getting ready for bed. Like every night, I went to round up Blizzard to put him in his cage. He is a free range bunny who only is locked in his cage at night when I can't keep an eye or ear out for him. Blizzard was sitting behind the futon and when I picked him up he put up no fight at all. I also noticed he didn't eat his lettuce and carrots I had left out for him. I immediately got very worried and asked Buzz if we should go to the Emergency Vet. Buzz suggested maybe we wait until Monday morning to see how things go, but I was too panicky. We took a taxi to the Emergency Vet at around 2am and Blizzard was so cuddley. He nipped my arm at one point and pawed my arm, so I cuddled him and he was better. When they took his temperature, he was 105.7 degrees. As he and I cuddled he looked up at me and gave me kisses on my cheek. Blizzard never gives me kisses. Ever. As much as I enjoyed and was ecstatic to have him show me affection, he wasn't acting himself and I want him to go back to being the little rebellious punk who likes to be alone and only comes over if he wants something from you.
The vet inspected him and found nothing wrong. I thought he had compacted bowels but the vet said she could not feel any. She didn't seem very worried and gave us some antibiotics to give him for his very high fever. She also gave us Critical Care to give him. While she explained the directions for the medicine, Blizzard let me hold him in my arms and he rested his chin on my shoulder.
When we were leaving I had bank problems and had difficulties paying, Blizzard was in his carrier and I was fumbling with TD Bank to transfer funds into my Checking account. We took the taxi home and got in the door. Thunder came up to greet us as he always does, so I unzipped Blizzard's carrier so he could say hello to Thunder. But Blizzard was on his side with his eyes open.
I don't remember what happened exactly after, but Buzz tells me I immediately started screaming for Blizzard to wake up and that I love him. I called the Emergency Vet again and they said maybe if I brought him back in they could try to do something. So I called the taxi again. I went outside with my dead son, Blizzard, in my arms and sat on the ground crying with Buzz very loudly. It was about 4am by then.
I must have not made any sense to the taxi people on the phone because a taxi never came and eventually we went back inside.
I put Blizzard in a basket and we petted him until his feet turned cold and body got stiff. Thunder smelled him and tried to wrestle with him, he kept trying to play with Blizzard's body that we had to put Blizzard in the closet while Buzz and I tried to get some rest at 6am. Buzz went to work for me that morning and I tossed and turned in and out of sleep until Noon.
Buzz came home from work and we made cinnamon rolls, they didn't taste as good as I hoped they would. We had to figure out what to do with Blizzards body quickly before he started to smell or decompose. I decided that I wanted him cremated instead of buried and Buzz agreed to this.
We looked on the Internet for the best place to get him cremated and since they were all far away and we have no vehicle, I called the Emergency Vet and asked them if they knew of any places around Burlington. They said they can take Blizzard to get cremated through a place in New Hampshire called Forest Lake. The ashes come in a wooden box that has flowers engraved on it. I also plan to get a small rabbit urn necklace so I can keep some of him with me always.
He was not even 10 months old yet, he was a baby. My baby. Thunder is a cat, and he is a pet. But Blizzard was my baby. My son. I loved him so much. All of my time was dedicated to him. I was so cautious of his health needs but he died. I have rushed him to the vets a few times and they always said he was just fine. He didn't even show any signs until that night! Hours before his death. What was I supposed to do? I don't even know what he died from, I don't know what I did wrong. I thought I was so cautious with him. I bunny proofed our apartment the best I could but he may have had access to a few uncovered cords. Maybe it was the cat litter he liked to hang out in. Maybe in was Thunder playing to rough with him. Maybe I was too lazy about his safety, but I really thought I did my best. I played with him everyday. I gave him love and cheek rubs whenever he was near. I take a million photos of him and videos and he's all I talk about.
Despite this, he is dead and I don't know what to do with myself. I have so much time that was once spent being a bunny slave that I have nothing to do with. Buzz and I spent all of Sunday crying and today I only cried a little at work. The apartment feels horrible and cold and we haven't touched any of the bunny toys.
One good thing, to leave this on a positive note, I have always been afraid maybe Blizzard didn't like me. He was never affectionate and I could pet him for hours and he wouldn't give me the smallest kiss. He never laid down besides me, he'd only lay with Thunder. He was always to himself under the futon or the bed unless he wanted to be petted or fed. I have gotten depressed many times worried that he does not like me. But, before his death he cuddled with me and kissed me and was so affectionate that I now know he did love me.
"Good night sweet prince: And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!" - Hamlet, Act 5 Scene 2
Sorry for the shirtlessness in the following photos, but these are the last photos taken of Blizzard, on Friday March 8th. I was getting ready to shower and I found Blizzard was more inclined to make contact with me when I wasn't wearing a shirt. He must have liked my skin.
This was on Thursday when Blizzard and I sat around eating Kiwi.
This is Thunder saying goodbye to a dead Blizzard.
Before we took Blizzard to be cremated this was the last photos I took of him.
Rest in peace, my love.
