So Neglected, Here is Some Writing

I was going to preface this with an explanation but I wont.  I wanted to share some writing and I decided to go way back.  Back when I was 15.  I wrote this somewhere in 2006.  Some of it is true, some of it isn't.  You can tell I really liked Perks of Being a Wallflower back then. 

I cried tonight.

No, it wasn't that I was wallowing in my teen angst, mad at the world. No, I was happy. Oh boy how I was happy. 

One of the best moments of my life. See, I was riding home with my mom from the store with the windows rolled down. We 

were listening to Enya's Return to Innocence, I don't care if that song isn't cool, it's beautiful. 

We were riding down the highway with all the lights and open signs. It was in that moment I decided everything is alright.

I'm always worried the future. If I'll get into the right school. The right house. Right life mate. I want these things. 

I believe if I have these things I will lead a happy life. But in that moment, with the fresh air, shinging lights, smiling mother, 

and that beautiful Indian man's voice, I relized  I have the whole world infront of me. And that lit-up highway was a reminder 

of how very young I am. I smiled and couldn't help but cry. It was so perfect, me and my mother riding along, smiling and 

enjoying the same song. I had to try and fight the tears back though. I didn't want to ruin the moment. And I knew my

mother wouldn't understand if I started to cry. She think's I'm over emotional. She's probally right.    227

Or atleast that's what I thought.

God, so I got this brother right? And he's great. I mean coolest fuxking guy in the world. Well, he wasn't cool. Infact he was 

pretty un-cool.  But hot damn was he great.I mean I have all these great moments with him. Just stuff in the past and how great it all

was.

Now I'm begining to think Mom would understand if I was crying. You see, right after I finished choking down my tears my 

mother drove into another car. I think that she was also crying. But where I was crying in the delight of my youthfulness, 

I believe she was crying over her age. Resulting in a car wreck. This car wreck was no accident. She skillfully rammed into 

the other car so that she got severly injured and I only got a few scratches. Now we are in the hospital, I am obediantly 

at her side, she in unconsious and getting stiches, and the nurses look at me wide eyed like they think I am going to try to 

kill myself too.     354