Birth Control can be Dangerous. Unlike Pilates, the Avengers, etc.

This week was pretty awesome.  I've been keeping up with doing yoga and pilates like every morning.  With no air conditioning!  I sweat up a storm.  Not attractive.  But I was hoping to tone up for Disney, didn't seem to happen - still a chub scout.

I was trying to figure out why when BAM I think it's my Depo Provera.  AKA the Shot, Depo is a birth control.  I take a shot every three months and never get a period!  Sound awesome right?  Except women have frequently reported gaining over 100 lbs, depression, hair loss, acne, and other crazy shit.  The weight gain is the one I really don't want.  I haven't been able to figure out why I'm not loosing as much as I should be (I don't eat much, I eat pretty healthy, I exercise, I walk EVERYWHERE - like at least an hour of walking a day).  I assume birth control must at least be a factor into why I am not loosing this weight.  So, I am not going to take it anymore - you might be thinking Nooo Kim you gunna get prego you dumb girl!  But I'm celibate.  So that's impossible.  As I've stated previously - I just don't really like that stuff.  I only take birth control on the off chance I might have sex.  But if I am damaging my body with unhealthy side effects of birth control - no way.  I'm not sacrificing my health for men.  I just wont have sex.  Well, I wont until I get Depo out of my system, I'm currently doing a lychee fruit detox.  Then I will talk to my doctor doctor about getting on a different form of birth control that will be right for me.  But I know it will take a while to get Depo out of my system.

Phsh, totally just made plans to drink tonight.  So much for detox.  BUT  I haven't drank in like two weeks?  I haven't been drunk since September.  So, I'm good.  :D

Let's recap the week:
Saturday I woke up and did my pilates for an hour, volunteered at the library, worked, chinese food!
Sunday I had an AMAZING picnic that Buzz set up and everything.  He made me lots of good food.

 I love him so much.  And I wore my new wrap dress - it makes me look fat but it's still cute.

He even got us hard cider to drink in the park!  I felt like such a rebel drinking in public in broad daylight.  We went home and napped and then when we woke up I talked Buzz into doing yoga with me.  We did easy yoga so with unflexible body could join in.  It was super cute and after we got all sweaty we took a bath and then went out in town again.  We tried jerk chicken for the first time.  nomnomnom it's so tasty!  We walked to the water front to watch the sunset while we ate chicken.  lol romantic right?  Then we got creemees on the way home!  *so stuffed*
Monday I came home from my awake overnight and slept, hour of pilates, and started packing to move into my new apartment.
Tuesday I woke up, pilates, went to my work to paint walls for one of the shelter rooms,

went to a staff meeting, went home to nap for a second then got dinner with one of my girlfriends before I worked an overnight.

Wednesday I slept in after my overnight and Buzz took me to Henry's!  A fifties style dinner that makes great eggs Benedict.  Then we looked in some shops and of course I did some shopping.  Then we went home to drop off our stuff we bought (or I bought lol) and saw the Avengers!  It was a fun movie but did you notice the camera never stopped movie?  I haven't seen an action blockbuster in a long time so my eyes were not prepared for it.  I think films, like technology, are beginning to cater to our ADD society.  After the movie we went to then fancy restaurant during it's special hours to get delicious meals for $15!  I got a wine soda too.  It was called Rose and was pink.  Super cute.

Thursday was another day off with Buzz at work so it was a Me Day.  I slept in until eleven!  Then pilates, then bathe, ate lunch with Buzzy,then got my toe nails done!!! The lady did such a great job. I'm going there Sunday to get my nails done and my eyebrows waxed. After that I went tanning.  Then went home- tanning when it's hot out is not a good idea (I mean in a tanning bed).  Then me and Buzz stayed inside until more Chinese food (we're addicted I swear) and I bought some probiotic drinks from the Co-Op.

Recaps are really hard, jeez I have a bad memory.  But I don't journal anymore really.  So I feel it's important to remember.

Cosmetic surgery is totally irrelevant to tap dancing. - or erectile dysfunction, okay maybe that.

ZOMG so my brother is texting me about his erectile dysfunction.  I do NOT want to hear that!  He is way to personal with me sometimes.

PS I just found Care Credit?  It makes payment plans so you can get cosmetic surgery now and pay for it a little every month.  And if you pay in the set schedule you collect no interest!  I think that is awesome because I have no qualms with cosmetic surgery.  Everyone is like blah blah it's fake.  But people wear makeup!  And dye their hair! It's total crap and I think people should do what they want to feel pretty.  It's the same as making fun of people and calling them ugly.  There is no need to be mean about how others look - just don't look at them.

I mean I get that to a point plastic surgery looks weird.  But so what? Do what you do.  I want to get breast augmentation, because I don't feel like mine developed right.  lol That's embarrassing to admit.  But really, I wore training bras until I was 15 because I was too afraid to ask my mom for real bras.  She basically scared the crap out of me about growing up and developing into a women to like, bras were nerve wrecking.  Anyways, I slept in a bra all through high school because I didn't want breasts and so I always kept them pinned down.  Well now I embrace being a woman and my breasts stink.  :c  not literally lol.

I want to move past that part of my life and feel pretty.  Of course everyone is like "Beauty is on the inside, accept your body."  Well fuck you I do accept my body.  I haven't left it yet right?  I just want to change it.  Everyone wants to change things they don't like, so I want to change my tits.  Oh and get fillers for under my eyes.  I have crap genetics I swear.

Oh!  And I had my tap dance recital!  My boyfriend was the fucking shit and bought me a dozen roses!  I had to go to the recital during my lunch break at work, I'm so badass.

Here is the video.  There are pictures too!

 

It was awesome I felt so loved!

Okay now I'm going to do more yoga.  Gotta get ready for bikini!!

1Q84 + Battle Royale, or how Japanese books saved me in sickness andHurricane Katrina.

Well I have not blogged in a hot minute.  My bad.  Really, I've been super busy so it's not totally my fault.  In the past twelve days I've worked way to much and I was sick all weekend.  I finished my book 1Q84!  The longest book I've ever read!

1000 pages of long-winded, dry, meticulous detailed Japanese writing from a very male perspective.  Nonetheless, I really enjoyed it.  I also read the first Hunger Games book and I will discuss that series when I finish all three because that will need it's own blog.  While I wait for my boyfriend to buy the other two Hunger Games - we agreed I'd buy the first and Battle Royale and he'd buy the other two HGs - I am re reading Battle Royale.  Yes I am one of those people who thinks BR is much better and HGs is a rip off.  But that's not even really the issue I have with HGs.  So I am rereading BR to juxtapose and reveal my thoughts on a later date.    

Reading Battle Royale has been a wonderful throwback to me when I was 14 years old. 

 I have a vivid memory of being in McComb Mississippi after Hurricane Katrina at my grandparents.  They were - like everyone in Mississippi - poor, they lived in a trailer park.  McComb wasn't flooded from the hurricane but the town I lived in sure did and so after Katrina we went to my grandparents.  Unfortunately due to no electricity or running water my grandparents trailer became a big metal oven.  So we got a fold out canopy and put an air mattress underneath it.  Viola! Home.  

One night my mother went in the trailer at night to sleep in the tub of the bathroom with my youngest bother, Christopher.  He was only two at the time and my mother was worried that he was being bit by too many mosquitoes.  We all were, but he was too young.  This detail sticks out to me.

I don't think about this time in my life often but it is surreal to do the same activity (reading Battle Royale) that I did almost seven years ago in such a different situation.  Reading Battle Royale and having my older brother, David, with me were the only things that kept me alive and sane while we were going through that.  Rereading the book has been... relieving perhaps?  I think it was important to read it again with older eyes and see how much I've grown/changed.  Oh jeez I'm being all sentimental.  If you can consider Battle Royale sentimental.  

It is basically about kids forced to kill each other.  Except it's not cute and hopeful like Hunger Games.  It's more Japanese and angsty.  

Lack of: Art, Money, Sex, and Batman.

Oh my goodness working alone all night again I'm feeling hyper-ish.  I think I will type the hyper away.  Maybe I'll work on my short story.  GETTING BACK INTO ART IS WEIRD.  It feels.. forced?  Something.  It makes me feel not me to remember I can't write like I used to.  Like this blogging shit?  Easy.  It's just like talking.  I monologe in person to my bf all the goddamn time 'cause he doesn't talk.  But writing stories feels weird.  I think it reminds me of art school.  UHGGG.  Let's talk happy kay?

PS when I do finish something good I'll put it on here.  :D  Excited!

So I flew like $500 in six days wtf.  It's Vermont Restaurant Week.  GOD DAMN.  And I bought two bathing suits for Victoria's Secret!  (I need to seriously diet!!)  I'll post pics eventually.  ;)  And I got some Vans but they are a little too small.  :c  I'm still going to wear them of course.  Bahaha.  I'll just need some bandaids for the backs of my heels.  lol  So silly.

Oh I think I'm asexual btw.  I think it's kinda silly too but it's true.  I hate sex.  I don't want it, and I feel bad for my bf.  In fact sexual intercourse scares me. I think it has something with sexual abuse in my past but I don't want to hate it.  It's a normal thing.  I'm already to fucking weird to hate sex c'mon.  But it makes me resent all horny people and I hate pornography.  So asexual for meeeeee.  But I don't want to be!  :c  Maybe I need viagra?  lol

Oh Buzz is 84% into Arkam Asylum.  I'm at 4%!  I'm so cheezed he went on without me!  That asshole!  It was supposed to be a couple thing!  He was just made because my Pokedex in Pokemon Black was sooo much better.