I went first because my Wellbutrin does not work anymore. I've been on it for a year and a half, up to 400 mgs. When I first started taking it the pills worked well. I got out of my depression, I started going to college, got a job, housed, got some pets. It worked for a while - but now it does not. So I went in the doctor's with the idea that I wanted stimulants.
But we're not supposed to say that, right? If we say that, we wont get them because we just want to abuse them, right?
So I went through the rigmarole of various screenings. Actually, I was honest with every answer. According to their little screening I am ADD, I even have some Hyperactivity in me too. Of course they screened me for other things - I passed those tests too. I have depression, anxiety, and PTSD according to their tests.
But I just wanted stimulants, don't give me beta-blockers to help me sleep. I don't have energy as it is. So, I sat down with my doctor and she wanted to put me on a non-stimulant that helps focus. But it is more expensive so I got on Methylin, a cheap generic Ritalin.
But now I feel so bad, the whole time I was there it was like the doctors knew I wanted stimulants, and that is bad. Personally I don't think it is bad. And it is true that I do not focus well. I hope stimulants work for me because when I have abused them I was focused and up an at em. Though, I read that it helps everyone focus. Kids take them in school to get better grades. I read this NY Times article where they were talking about the horrors of kids abusing Adderall to get into good colleges. LOL since when are people complaining about kids taking the initiative to get better grades and get into good schools? People complain about drugs and alcohol because they hinder people's ability to function. Stimulants enhance, they don't hinder. They help EVERYONE focus, so if kids use them to enhance their study sessions it's the end of the world? They find other things to help them stay up all night before a test. Coffee, energy pills, energy drinks. But those aren't frown upon because we can't get addicted to them. Oh wait. We can.
An addict is an addict, even if you take their drug of choice away, they'll find something else.
Don't get me wrong, there are some bad things that come with stimulants, tweaking and crashing. But should I feel like a damn criminal when I go into the doctor's and want ADD meds? I bet if I asked to get on anti-depressants they'd be fine with that. Doctors have no qualms handing out anti-depressants. They make you numb though, not happy. You can't really abuse Zoloft.
So when we started talking about getting me on ADD medication the conversation was awkward due to the elephant in the room. The elephant being "No, even though I am a young adult in the lower middle class, I don't want to abuse these or sell them" But I can't say that, she'll think I'm lying.
Not enough people who need stimulants are getting them because they can be abused. Because our society has decided that Adderall is bad, unlike say Xanax or Loratabs (that Doctors hand out more freely). When someone wants to get on them, it is bad. We have to wait for the doctor to make up their mind with what they think you need, and there is no conversation. We have little say in the mental medications we consume.
Here are some complimatary photos of myself and stuff.
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