Chiclets From My Mind

As of yesterday I can cross off
1. drinking wine in the bath tub and
2.watching 240 minutes nonstop of Dawson's Creek
from my bucket list.  I decided to organize that sentence in a different way because it was going to be a run-on anyways.

Tab:  "Hey, so I know this is pretty awkward since we have been dating on and off for a while..."
Ivan:  ::groans::
Tab:  "Yeah, I'm like, gay."
Ivan:  "No shit!  Really?  What?  I wouldn't have guessed, for real.  Like even before we were hooking up when I first met you, I didn't see you as gay.  Maybe like, bi or something but not full fledged gay.  I mean, I usually have a pretty good gay-dar you know?"
Tab:  "Dude, how do you think I feel?  I thought I had a good gay-dar.  Like, totally know when someone is gay but had no idea I was.  That's fucked up, dude."

Never try with someone.  You give them back scratches in the middle of the night. You pluck that one hair on your big toe just in case he sees your toes up close and notices it.  You eventually stop hanging out with everyone you knew and stop enjoying anything that you liked.  There is no more partying because they'll be insecure and somehow make you feel like a slut if you want to go out drinking or dancing.  You'll watch the most stupid and uninteresting movies because your taste are so different from each other that when you try to find a movie that is in the middle ground it is so far from anything in your tastes that it is a substance less blob and you'll realize you've been watching prime time television shows of Netflix.  The only thing you'll do that gives you an excuse to dress nice, because you'll be out in public, is dinner.  But you can't dress too nice because men will look at you, and you can only wear that form fitting shirt at home.  Going out to dinner is only enjoyable because you don't have to talk too much and you're just eating.  You realize you are more excited about eating some good food than being with them.  You'll try to make friendly conversation and it just wont work and you'll realize you are just monologue-ing for forty minutes. Though he looks interested, it must be a practiced look because you realize you have already told him this story at least three times before.  So you'll stop in mid-sentence and he will not even notice and you will feel alone.  But you try and try again.  Until you realize they have nothing to talk about.
But you are so person-less since you've been with them.  You have been watching television and stopped creating art that you as well have nothing to talk about, except your past when they were not around and you did things that were interesting enough to be told later on over dinner.  You have nothing to talk about anymore because you tried.  Then they'll leave you and move back to Cape Cod.

If I were a fish, I'd be a catfish.

That long and dramatic paragraph was ostentatious and exaggerated   Me and Buzz's relationship wasn't like that but the above paragraph sounds better written down than the truth.

I'm going to touch you very hard.

Last night I bought a Cosmopolitian magazine, I think it must be some guilty pleasure.  Honestly though, I hate that magazine.  Every issue is the same with the same sex tips and beauty secrets.  But my biggest issue is more from a feminist standpoint.  Cosmo advertises as being aimed towards "fearless" and "fun" women.  All these articles on sexual independence and how awesome hooking up with guys is.  Why is it if we are so independent  that half of the magazine is "what he wants" kind of shit?  Also, why does Cosmo ask girls to gauge their independence based upon sexuality?  Isn't that a very male perspective to immediately sexualize the woman and then all other factors and attributes branch out from that original sexual platform that was used to conceptualize her?

I brought up that last sentence on Fasbuk and immediately got teased by male and females.  Fucking ridiculous how feminism has to be such a bad thing.  Girls are too afraid to own up to feminism because guys are such assholes about it because they don't want to be challenged.  Like sure maybe I have some extreme views in our society- don't want to be sexualized ..  guys should stop raping girls... and I think pornography is a bad thing all around. I'm so fucking radical.  No, I'm just a fucking lady.