Christmas and the Alternative Sadness - The Soundtrack

Here is my Christmas Playlist - Merry Christmas everyone!  It's in no specific order.  I'll put stars near songs I find exceptionally good.  

Jackson 5 - Santa Cause is Coming to Town

Elton John - Step Into Christmas

Brenda Lee - Rockin Around the Christmas Tree

The Moonglows - Hey Santa Clause

Robby Helms - Jingle Bell Rock

Eels - Everything's Going to be Cool this Christmas *

Eels - Christmas is Going to the Dogs

Everclear - Hating You For Christmas ****************************** Favorite Christmas Song.

The Dandy Warhols - Little Drummer Boy  ********************

The Decemberists - Angel, Wont You Call Me for Christmas  *****

Marcy Playground - Keegan's Christmas

The Smashing Pumpkins - Christmastime

Vince Guaraldi Trio - Christmas is Coming

Vince Guaraldi Trio - Linus and Lucy

Squirrel Nut Zippers - Sleigh Ride

The Beach Boys - Little Saint Nick

The Beach Boys - Merry Christmas, Baby

Tom Petty - Christmas All Over Again

Run D.M.C.- Christmas Is  ****

No Doubt - Oi to the World

Run D.M.C. - Christmas in Hollis  *****

Elvis Presley - Blue Christmas

Frank Sinatra - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

John & Yoko - Happy Xmas (War is Over)

Paul McCartney - Wonderful Christmastime

Bing Crosby & David Bowie - Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth

Ben Folds - Lonely Christmas Eve

Coldplay - Christmas Lights

The Specials - Holiday Fortnight

The Shins - Wonderful Christmastime ******

Andrew Bird - Auld Land Syne

Collective Soul - December

Daniel Johnston - Rock Around the Christmas Tree

The Flaming Lips - Christmas at the Zoo

The Flaming Lips - A Change at Christmas (Say it Isn't So)

R.E.M. - Deck the Halls

Foxy Shazam - Walking in the Air

Belle and Sebastian - O Come, O Emmanuel

The Dandy Warhols - Everyday Should be a Holiday

Dead Kennedys - Holiday in Cambodia

Sex Pistols - Holiday in the Sun

Band of Horses - The First Song

Weezer - Hark!  The Herald Angels Sing

Mazzy Star - Flowers in December

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Is this Home on Ice

Pearl Jam - Let Me Sleep (It's Christmas Time)

Jethro Tull - Jack Frost and the Hooded Crow

GZA - Cold War

Tom Waits - Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis ****

Eux Autres - Teenage Christmas

Pixies - Winterlong

The New Pornographers - The Spirit of Giving ***

Queen - Thank God It's Christmas

Wizzard - I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday (I don't care if it's played out.)

Nada Surf - 80 Windows

Badly Drawn Boy - Donna and Blitzen

Eve 6 - Noel! Noel!

Oasis - Merry Christmas Everybody

Simon and Garfunkel - A Hazy Shade of Winter

The Kinks - Father Christmas

Lou Reed - Xmas in February

Third Eye Blind - One of Those Christmas Days

The Magnetic Fields - Everything is One Big Christmas Tree

Blues Traveler - Christmas

Counting Crows - A Long December

Guided by Voices - A Doughnut for a Snowman

Foxy Shazam - Heavens on Their Mind

Pearl Jam - Wishlist

Sufjan Stevens - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Sufjan Stevens - Get Behind Me, Santa!

Sorry if some of the videos are lame, I didn't watch them all.  I'm almost off work and can actually Celebrate Christmas!!!!

In The Defense Of Stimulants

Yesterday I was prescribed Ritalin.  It was a long process and confusing.  I went to the doctors three days in a row until they prescribed it.

I went first because my Wellbutrin does not work anymore.  I've been on it for a year and a half, up to 400 mgs.  When I first started taking it the pills worked well.  I got out of my depression, I started going to college, got a job, housed, got some pets.  It worked for a while - but now it does not.  So I went in the doctor's with the idea that I wanted stimulants.

But we're not supposed to say that, right?  If we say that, we wont get them because we just want to abuse them, right?

So I went through the rigmarole of various screenings.  Actually, I was honest with every answer.  According to their little screening I am ADD, I even have some Hyperactivity in me too.  Of course they screened me for other things - I passed those tests too.  I have depression, anxiety, and PTSD according to their tests.

But I just wanted stimulants, don't give me beta-blockers to help me sleep.  I don't have energy as it is.  So, I sat down with my doctor and she wanted to put me on a non-stimulant that helps focus.  But it is more expensive so I got on Methylin, a cheap generic Ritalin.

But now I feel so bad, the whole time I was there it was like the doctors knew I wanted stimulants, and that is bad.  Personally I don't think it is bad.  And it is true that I do not focus well.  I hope stimulants work for me because when I have abused them I was focused and up an at em.  Though, I read that it helps everyone focus.  Kids take them in school to get better grades.  I read this NY Times article where they were talking about the horrors of kids abusing Adderall to get into good colleges.  LOL since when are people complaining about kids taking the initiative to get better grades and get into good schools?  People complain about drugs and alcohol because they hinder people's ability to function.  Stimulants enhance, they don't hinder.  They help EVERYONE focus, so if kids use them to enhance their study sessions it's the end of the world?  They find other things to help them stay up all night before a test.  Coffee, energy pills, energy drinks.  But those aren't frown upon because we can't get addicted to them.  Oh wait.  We can.

An addict is an addict, even if you take their drug of choice away, they'll find something else.

Don't get me wrong, there are some bad things that come with stimulants, tweaking and crashing.  But should I feel like a damn criminal when I go into the doctor's and want ADD meds?  I bet if I asked to get on anti-depressants they'd be fine with that.  Doctors have no qualms handing out anti-depressants.  They make you numb though, not happy.  You can't really abuse Zoloft.

So when we started talking about getting me on ADD medication the conversation was awkward due to the elephant in the room.  The elephant being "No, even though I am a young adult in the lower middle class, I don't want to abuse these or sell them"  But I can't say that, she'll think I'm lying.

Not enough people who need stimulants are getting them because they can be abused.  Because our society has decided that Adderall is bad, unlike say Xanax or Loratabs (that Doctors hand out more freely).  When someone wants to get on them, it is bad.  We have to wait for the doctor to make up their mind with what they think you need, and there is no conversation.  We have little say in the mental medications we consume.

Here are some complimatary photos of myself and stuff.

Spa Night

Buzz has stayed longer than anticipated, but I subjected him to a spa night. Filled a pot of warm water to soak feet. Got foot scrub and loofah. Sat around watching The Thirteenth Floor and scrubbing our feet. Face masks were next and then I did my nails. It's really fun being a girl sometimes.

And I love the Thirteenth Floor.

Happy Belated Kim Day!

Last week Buzz and David came on Monday, December 3rd for KIM DAY.  Kim Day is my holiday.  Basically, when I was eleven years old my mother had her fourth child and I was convinced I would never get the proper attention a princess like me deserves.  (I was right.)  My parents decided that I should make up my own holiday - not my birthday - as a day just about me me me.

Well, I have celebrated for 10 years strong and my parents have yet to acknowledge the day.

It's actually a lot of fun, having your own holiday, and I suggest to everyone to make up their own holiday too.  I always get sad on my birthday, as illustrated here.   But Kim Day is just an excuse to feel special and go around saying "Happy Kim Day!"  And other people respond "Happy Kim Day!"  It's lighthearted fun.

So this Kim Day, Buzz and David came from out of state to visit.  David was in New York with our Biological Father, and Buzz had already moved back to Cape Cod.  When I got off work on Kim Day, they picked me up and we went and bought me an iPhone 5!  I had to switch onto my brother's Verizon plan.  Thank gawd though, because before I had Sprint and they suck so hard.  

So, iPhone 5.  Yep.  That's cool.  Honestly, I have not had time to enjoy it yet because I have been so busy! Tuesday morning Sierra (David's girlfriend) came up to visit from New Orleans.  So Tuesday Buzz went and covered my work shift while I slept in and then started showing Sierra around town with Dave.  It was fun.  Tuesday night we saw the band Trampled by Turtles in concert and it was great!  Wednesday I went to work but was still feeling sick so I left at Noon and went home to sleep most of the day.  That night my friend Cameron came over and we all watched this German movie called The Wave.  It was actually pretty good.  Interested seeing German's view on Hitler and tyranny and all.  Thursday I slept a lot of the day and didn't get up until 6pm!  You may be thinking  "wtf Kim?  You haven't been busy, you've been sleeping!"  But I have been so sleepy, you have no idea.  I just feel so wiped out, I'm afraid my Wellbutrin isn't working anymore.  I went to the doctor's yesterday and they took blood to check my thyroid.  I got very lightheaded, and then they tried to explain health insurance.  Do not explain health insurance after you take someone's blood.  It doesn't work.

Thursday evening my Doc Martin's came in the mail.  I will have to take photos because they are beautiful, even though I have already scuffed them up.  But, they're boots.  Who can take very good care of shoes when they are on the dirty ground all the time? 

I spent my weekend in New York with my biological father, David, and his girlfriend Sierra. There was a lot of whiskey, guitars, and red necks. Sorry this post took forever to finish. So busy.