This is What it is Like to Be a Girl on OKCupid

I love having an OKCupid account, though I have never met any of the people on it.  But I sign on every now and then to read the influx of messages I get (this isn't bragging, all girls on OKCupid get a zillion messages) and kinda giggle at what people send me.  Here are some of my favorites:


"hi kim, im ben. do you want to like exchange a bunch of internet messages for a while and then get a beer or something and then go on a few more dates and then become a relationship and then fall in love and then when zombies happen gather supplies together and escape to a remote area where we can stay and defend until it all settles down and then help rebuild society and repopulate the earth together? if you do then message me back so we can get started."

"With red hair you look the best"

"Dude you did a good job writing that about me page. You've convinced me"

"Cots is a really awesome place. -Martin"

"​you know I never tried sushi with donuts before... I bet it's good with a good frosting of wasabi. Thanks for the suggestion!"   <- I never said anything to this person.

"I like your bunnies! 

Let's have a guitar jam!!"

"Nice profile. What do you paint? I edit photos by doing body paint. :)"

"Hey What's up? How do you think "Blade Runner" (one of my top 5 movies) compares to "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep"?"

"Hey there, I would like to take a moment and be as honest as I can with you... I've been wanting to send you a message for the last couple of days, but I've just been too nervous to follow through. The combination of your personality, the adorable way in which you are as honest as you can be even in the relatively smaller aspects of your bio, and your undeniably stunning elegance (I couldn't think of any other way to accurately put it) all caught me dumbfounded and I wasn't sure how one would go about beginning a greeting, let alone a conversation, with someone with the alluring nature of yourself. haha I know this is a quite romanticized greeting, that last sentence was probably a run-on, and I apologize if it caught you off guard, but I would greatly appreciate a chance to get to know you better as a person :)

For starters, if you had a choice to live the rest of your life on either a space station or a station built at the very bottom of the marinas trench, which would you choose and why?"

"​Hey:) my bf and I are looking for another woman to play with;) We've never done anything like this before so we're hoping to find a gorgeous girl to show us the ropes;) hit us up if you're interested. Julie and Matt" <--Why do they think I know anything about this?"

"Stalkin' up on yo bitch ass!"

"I grew up in the 90s so obviously we would get along great. Ooo the memories"

"you arelooking sexY!"

"I am 80's guy are you 90's girl?"

"​what was the craziest hallucination you have had when you smoked weed lol?"

"​Hi Kimberly. You're absurdly sexy. I'd like to buy you dinner. ... And then... If you're even half-as-cute in-person, I'll likely seduce you."

"Are you kink curious?"

"can you handle me getting me laid please i give u 100.00 ty"

"since you arent serious anyway, would you like to chat with an old man"

"Hey... you seem kinda sweet ..but with a little salt... am I close? Anyway... I maybe too old for you (though I still get carded for beer sometimes!) And most folks guess my age lower by about 10 years... oh well, not a bad thing I guess. I teach at a local college ...so I pulled my photo when some co_workers and students found me here.... anyway..happy to send a photo to an email addy. I used to work at 95 north ave! Wouldn't that be like the weirdest thing if you had my old office? "

"Happy Birthday Elliott Smith."

"Brohoof for VTPonies, and, I guess Tapehoof for Cassettes. Yeah, that makes sense. So do you record guitar cassettes as well? You should record a million pretend albums, make covers for them and give them to people. I may only be saying that because that's what I do. But still. Continue being awesome, soldier.

(trots along)"  <-- Probably my favorite

"You look like the secretary from Ghostbusters. In like a really cool sexy way."

"So having this as a joke, and then run into a bunch of people I know is interesting. Also super weirding me out. I gave you a five star rating, cause you so sexy. Mostly I'm still on here because I'm discussing polyamory with people to gain a better inside understanding for purposes of social analysis and anthropology stuff. That's what I do."

"Hey there. Probably totally uncalled for, but I just wanted to say you are delicious :-)"

"lol you look familiar."

Beauty Apps

So I downloaded a few apps, "Beauty Apps," that had high star ratings.  Most beauty apps come out of Korea or Japan and have a really cute interface and menu that are very user friendly.  They allow you to slim your face, make your eyes bigger, nose smaller, boobs bigger. They present it in this innocent almost childish way, with cartoons illustrating how big you can make your boobs look.  It's creepy. 

I decided to edit some pictures of mine to the point where I thought it wasn't attractive anymore.  The pictures on the left are unedited and filterless, some pictures are less flattering than others.  There is a couple where I kinda look like butt, but(t) better than the picture on the right (in my opinion.)  The editing is kinda crappy in some (like #5) and some I spent more time on than others.  In a couple I even enlarged the eyes of Cotton (the rabbit) so that she, too, could be kawaii anime desuuu.  The apps I've used here are LINE Camera and BeautyPlus, I used InstaCollage to juxtapose the pictures.

This is a project I plan to continue doing. Thoughts? Opinions? What do people think of "Beauty Apps"?

So Neglected, Here is Some Writing

I was going to preface this with an explanation but I wont.  I wanted to share some writing and I decided to go way back.  Back when I was 15.  I wrote this somewhere in 2006.  Some of it is true, some of it isn't.  You can tell I really liked Perks of Being a Wallflower back then. 

I cried tonight.

No, it wasn't that I was wallowing in my teen angst, mad at the world. No, I was happy. Oh boy how I was happy. 

One of the best moments of my life. See, I was riding home with my mom from the store with the windows rolled down. We 

were listening to Enya's Return to Innocence, I don't care if that song isn't cool, it's beautiful. 

We were riding down the highway with all the lights and open signs. It was in that moment I decided everything is alright.

I'm always worried the future. If I'll get into the right school. The right house. Right life mate. I want these things. 

I believe if I have these things I will lead a happy life. But in that moment, with the fresh air, shinging lights, smiling mother, 

and that beautiful Indian man's voice, I relized  I have the whole world infront of me. And that lit-up highway was a reminder 

of how very young I am. I smiled and couldn't help but cry. It was so perfect, me and my mother riding along, smiling and 

enjoying the same song. I had to try and fight the tears back though. I didn't want to ruin the moment. And I knew my

mother wouldn't understand if I started to cry. She think's I'm over emotional. She's probally right.    227

Or atleast that's what I thought.

God, so I got this brother right? And he's great. I mean coolest fuxking guy in the world. Well, he wasn't cool. Infact he was 

pretty un-cool.  But hot damn was he great.I mean I have all these great moments with him. Just stuff in the past and how great it all

was.

Now I'm begining to think Mom would understand if I was crying. You see, right after I finished choking down my tears my 

mother drove into another car. I think that she was also crying. But where I was crying in the delight of my youthfulness, 

I believe she was crying over her age. Resulting in a car wreck. This car wreck was no accident. She skillfully rammed into 

the other car so that she got severly injured and I only got a few scratches. Now we are in the hospital, I am obediantly 

at her side, she in unconsious and getting stiches, and the nurses look at me wide eyed like they think I am going to try to 

kill myself too.     354